Happiness, Pleasure and Success
The Measure of Success
We are often told that money cannot buy happiness. So often in fact that the phrase has become an ‘old saying’ and, as then frequently happens, the words may be parroted but the meaning becomes blurred.
In today’s world ‘success’ is usually measured by money and power. Since money can’t buy happiness and power certainly doesn’t insure it, we seem to be at a place in our society where happiness is not very highly regarded and is certainly not seen as a measure of success.
In the Oxford dictionary ‘happy’ is defined as ‘feeling or showing pleasure or contentment’ – however ‘happiness’ has no separate definition, only shown as the noun under ‘happy’. I find that odd. It seems to imply that the state of happiness is not very important.
On the other hand, in The Art of Happiness the Dalai Lama is quite specific about what happiness means. On the first page he states, ‘I believe that the very purpose of our life is to seek happiness. That is clear. Whether one believes in religion or not,… we all are seeking something better in life. So, I think, the very motion of our life is towards happiness….’
He goes on to say he believes that happiness can be achieved through training the mind. When questioned he enlarged on the concept, saying that he is using the word ‘mind’ not only as our cognitive ability or intellect but in the sense of the Tibetan word Sem, which has a much broader meaning that includes intellect and feeling, heart and mind, and that we begin the process of changing our attitude by first identifying those factors that lead to happiness and those that lead to suffering. Once we have done this we can gradually eliminate what leads to suffering, and consciously cultivate what leads to happiness.
We can see that this will be a personal, subjective process. Those things that make us suffer and those that give us feelings of joy are going to be different for everyone. We can also see that one of the factors in identifying our personal suffering/happiness factors will be understanding why these particular things cause this reaction in us.
Psychological research has shown that in general people who are happy are more inclined to be open, giving, and helpful than those who are unhappy. Ironically the acts of giving and being helpful go on to engender feelings of greater happiness in those performing such acts while those who are unhappy and responding with anger or selfishness become ever more unhappy.
It’s also plain, through both research and our own feelings and observations, that pleasure and happiness are often confused. They are not interchangeable. It may give great momentary pleasure to throw something across the room and break it in a fit of annoyance, but this is unlikely to result in a deep feeling of lasting happiness.
This confusion between pleasure and happiness causes a good deal of difficulty as people strive ever harder to achieve something they perceive as happiness when in fact it is momentary pleasure. It is a feeling of pleasure rather than truly being happy that is then equated with success.
When the pleasurable feelings of the instant wear off the empty void returns and the incessant search for happiness starts all over again. If the difference between pleasure and happiness hasn’t yet been recognised the cycle will repeat itself over and over. We move from void to pleasure and back again – and with each cycle the need for ‘more’ becomes greater, for this is an addiction. The only way out of this otherwise endless cycle is to acknowledge what we are doing – chasing fleeting pleasure disguised as happiness.
Once we understand that there is a difference, how can we recognise it in our own emotions? One way is to look back at past situations that we recall as being pleasurable. Do we still get a feeling of joy as we recall that happening, or has it faded to something of no importance, perhaps even becoming an uncomfortable memory.
An experience that is solely pleasure brings momentary exhilaration; an experience that is true happiness leaves us with a permanent sense of joy and peace.
It is this permanent feeling of peace that we are all seeking, whether that is how we phrase it or not.
Happiness, and the feeling of peace and calm that it brings, is determined more by one’s state of mind than by external events.
Marye-Ann Azzarello BSc JD, is a metaphysical teacher who has worked in the field of personal development for over 40 years. She teaches and facilitates workshops in Queensland, Australia and also provides study through correspondence courses on Contemporary Wicca and Spiritual Development. Go to Marye-Ann’s website for more information at http://www.maryeannsmagic.webs.com and while you’re there pick up your complimentary first introductory lecture in Marye-Ann’s Contemporary Wicca course.
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