It’s hard to deny that self-love is an important aspect of happiness – but loving yourself can be difficult when you have limiting and derogatory messages playing in your subconscious mind. Most of these messages are recorded during childhood, but their effects can be far reaching! Did you know that you’re still being influenced by the things your parents and others said to you decades ago?

When someone told you that you were no good, you believed them. When someone told you that you’d never amount to anything, you believed them. When someone told you that you were stupid or learning-disabled or weird, you believed them. And you still believe them to this day – even if you’re not consciously aware of these underlying beliefs.

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When you think of being happy, you probably think about external factors in your life, such as having a comfortable place to live, money to fund your lifestyle, and more. While those things can certainly contribute to a greater sense of well-being and contentment, they rarely create happiness on their own.

Rather, genuine happiness is usually the result of less tangible factors. Below you’ll find three of the major factors that can help you to create a life of true joy and happiness, regardless of the state of your outer circumstances:

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by Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

“I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line.” -Lucile Ball, 1911-1989, Comedienne and Actress

Lucile Ball was a very smart woman!

Do you believe that if you put others first, they will love and value you and you will feel loved? Has this worked for you?

Do you believe that if you love yourself first you are being selfish? Is it selfish to attend to your own feelings and needs so that you are not needy of others attention to you? Is it selfish to learn how to fill yourself up with love so that you have plenty of love to share with others, or is it actually selfish to expect others to do this for you?

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