Ah, the good old “Vulcan nerve pinch”, the three-fingered salute, the one-handed solution to many backhanded aggravations. How simple, how effective, how instantaneously gratifying to the mind behind the mouse. Wouldn’t it be great if we could take the lessons learned from this simple three-point process into our lives and install them into our own hotkey set-up to help us deal with life’s little blue screens of death? Well, we can, provided we are willing to use a little creativity, allow ourselves some literary leeway and don’t mind stretching an already strained metaphor until it squeals for mercy. Shall we begin?

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by Jack Ulcer

A man walking down the street was asked what he would do if he won 10 million dollars. His answer was that he would leave his wife, quit his job and become a playboy.

Maybe this fellow was serious, maybe not. But when I heard his answer, I started to think about this man whose dreams and parts of his real personality are hidden behind the mask of his restricted financial resources. I started to think about him going to work, everyday, hoping that one day he could afford a lifestyle that would allow him to break free from his daily routines and escape from the watching eye of his boss. He would be ready to change his life completely, if he would just have the financial means to do it. He would also maybe carry out a hidden plan to tell his boss what he really thinks about him or her and leave the spouse behind who does not match the picture he has painted in his mind of a dream partner. All his plans are lying there in hibernation, waiting for the day that allows them to step out into the sunlight. Waiting for the day he can take off his mask and leave it all behind and wave goodbye.

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